


THIS IS THE TALE OF CAPTAIN JACK, uh, I mean

by sunaga



Category: Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken | Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword
Genre: Crack, Fire Emblem Kink Meme, Multi, Pre-Threesome, Propositions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-10
Updated: 2011-11-10
Packaged: 2019-07-02 05:17:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15789720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunaga/pseuds/sunaga
Summary: Eliwood and Hector proposition Lyn to a threesome. Which isn't gay, because the Golden Rule.A crack fill that contains as many Lonely Island references as I could fit.





	THIS IS THE TALE OF CAPTAIN JACK, uh, I mean

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 11/10/2011 for this prompt on the kink meme. Posted to ao3 8/25/18.
> 
> I'm serious when I say this is a crack fill.

"You want me to do what?"  
  
"Have sex with us!" the fiery redhead said cheerfully. "It's a great idea. Hector's brother just died, my girlfriend just died -- let's ignore how weird it is comparing my girlfriend to his brother and what that says about Hector and his brother -- and to break us out of our funk we need to have sex!"  
  
Hector grunted. After stroking his thickly furred chin he added, "The usual solution is to fuck each other's mothers, but seeing both of ours are dead... you're the next best thing." Being compared to dead mothers didn't do it for Lyn, but she did want to explore her mother's heritage. So this was all perfectly timed.   
  
"And because we're totally not gay for each other. At all." The starry-eyed lord said with eyes ablaze with righteous passion. Lyn eyed Eliwood's hand on Hector's thigh with suspicion. She distinctly recalled Eliwood having a box in front of his crotch and walking into Hector's tent. She remembered it clearly, because she'd thought the rumors of Ostian mating rituals lies and was shocked to see them true. But she refrained from mentioning that. She didn't want to admit she was doing the creep around Hector's tent to see if he liked women.  
  
And, well, if it was going to get her some, it was all good for her. Maybe if she was lucky, she'd even see some sweaty man-on-man action. Men were really stupid the morning after, and she was sure if she scooted out of her California King Sized Bed, she'd see Eliwood boning Hector.  
  
Of course, she didn't anticipate Shy ~~Ronnie~~ Florina coming in and stealing her with her secret lesbian agenda in mind. Which meant Lyn also missed Hector exclaiming, "I just had sex and it felt so good!" but once Lyn had had a Pegasus Knight and been shown the marvels of diving for pearls in the deep ocean's depths, there really was no going back to men and their ugly penises.


End file.
